Until We Both Can Keep Going...

In the midst of the storm

I throw my arms around you

I press you tight against my heart

And pray that calm will find you

Racked with devastation

Your miserable wailing fills the air

And all I can do is hold you

Keep telling you mama’s right there

I can feel your sorrow

Your body fights itself

You move and tumble all about

Dangling from every shelf

Everything comes at you

All at once in a blinding rush

You get so overwhelmed

And wish the world would hush

I want nothing more than to free you

From the “too much” in your mind

Dim the lights and quiet the house

Make the peace you can’t seem to find

I’ll tuck you in against me

Rock you long into the night

If that is what it takes to help you

I’ll do whatever’s right

Seeing you so anxious

Makes my heart hurt in my chest

I want to find the ways to help you

I promise I’ll do my best

So in this moment I will hold you

Keep my words soft and loving

Stopping for this precious time

Until we both can keep going…

My armor...

You do not see my armor

You do not see my sword

But every day I fight the battle

That keeps us moving forward

Throw your pain upon me

Let me absorb the blows

Because the hurt I’d take in your place

Only Heaven knows

I’ll jump in front of bullets

Stand up for you high and low

I’ll try to stop the hands of time

Though it never seems to slow

I can only be your shield

For a short amount of time

Eventually the hurt moves past

This fragile heart of mine

So for now I’ll ask the questions

Hear what the doctors have to say

Because I’ll have to tell it all to you

When you ask me one day

And when you’re sleeping

In your bed safe down the hall

I’ll cry into my pillow

And let my armor fall

The Snow

Softly falling
So pristine
The snow rips out my mind

It's so pure
I'm so messy
There's no peace I can find

Tug of war
Back and forth
Why can't we just agree?

Constant battle
Tit for tat
What's best for the small parts of me?

Balance thrown
Hope unknown
Why is the ground spinning?

Swirled with white
But seeing red
Some times I think he's winning

Good for me
May be bad for them
And I can't hurt their hearts

Cutting ties
He's telling lies
The final push apart

He's done his best
To drive a wedge
And make this ending worse

I hold my tongue
And bite my lip
Try my best not to curse

Being bigger
Isn't easy
But it's the best for all

It's about them
Not about me
So my back's against the wall

Time will mend
This open wound
Though my heart pounds like the gavel

Out the window
Snow keeps falling
As I slowly unravel